Well, that only took a few years ... you know, give or take.
Any golfer worth their weight in broken wood tees is a fan of the 1980 movie classic 'Caddyshack', as it spawned a slew of hilarious on-screen golf moments that left you laughing for years afterwards. Bill Murray and Chevy Chase got top billing, but for my money it was Rodney Dangerfield and Ted Knight that made the movie work to perfection.
And that brings us to this -- Sun Mountain has released a new riding bag that would bring a tear to the eye of Al Czervik (Dangerfield's boorish character). The Boom Golf Bag features a portable audio system that comes with a Bluetooth speaker that has stereo playback. I'm not going to get into the specifics of this product (unless #SunMountain wants to send me one and have me test it out, that is), but reading about this bag got me thinking about something I'd never considered to be golf-essential: what's my 18-hole playlist?
Considering the reverence I hold for Caddyshack, it's kind of shocking to me I never considered what music I would listen to making my way around the course. I had to sit down with my Spotify playing in the background to really start breaking down how I would approach this -- here's what I've come up with.
WARM-UPS
Okay, so I'm looking at about 3-4 hours on the course and I want to be playing my best so I need to get loosened up right and maybe pump myself up a bit before that first tee shot. What 2-3 songs am I going with to help me warm up? Well, it's going to go down a little something like this:
Nothing Else Matters (cover version by Scala & Kolacny Brothers)
Superstition (Stevie Wonder)
Kiss This (The Struts)
That should get me in the right frame of mind. The Scala & Kolacny cover of Metallica's 1991 hit will be the stretch-out tune, while Stevie will help me do my usual routine to prepare (putting green for 5 minutes, practice chips and then 3-4 first-club swings before I head for the opening tee box). And as for The Struts? It's there to help me visualize that opening hole, getting me in the right frame of mind to rip a shot down the pipe and kick-start my round.
HOLES 1-3
This is, at least for me, the key stretch in my round because if I'm feeling good and liking where my swing is at then I know I'll play well. Keeping that in mind, I had to select the following songs carefully:
4. Shot of Glory (The Washboard Union)
5. Take It On Faith (Matt Mays)
7. California Love (2Pac)
8. Given to Fly (Pearl Jam)
9. Giant (Matthew Good Band)
10. New York Groove (Ace Frehley)
11. Hooked On A Feeling (Blue Swede)
12. Born Yesterday (Hollerado)
I'm aware eight songs likely won't get me through three holes of play if I listen right through (especially if I'm playing with slower players and walking a tough track), but we'll go with it for now. It's a slow-ish build from Glory and Faith to the heavy-hitting Zeppelin staple. A little 2Pac gets me to relax a bit and re-focused, while the run of Pearl Jam, Matt Good, Ace, Blue Swede and Hollerado help me to ride whatever momentum I've got built up to this point. I figure if all goes well, I should be looking at -1 as my score by this point!
HOLES 4-6
Time to step it up a notch -- I need to build on my great start so I dial up some true inspiration with these next songs:
13. The Wolf (Mumford & Sons)
14. How You Like Me Now (The Heavy)
15. Piece of My Heart (Janis Joplin)
16. Limelight (RUSH)
17. Wasted Time (Keith Urban)
18. My Church (Maren Morris)
20. Blue On Black (Five Finger Death Punch)
21. Slow Hands (Niall Horan)
22. A Little Respect (Erasure)
Okay, we've hit the first pothole of the round with an OB tee shot on the fifth hole, so that's where Keith Urban and Maren Morris come in -- perhaps RUSH got me a little too jacked up after I lipped out a birdie putt? Anyway, Big Sugar gets me pointed in the right direction as I left Gordie Johnson's guitar licks wash over me to get my mind back into it before playing my fourth out of the rough. The quick-slow-quick run over the last three songs get me telling myself to be flexible and ready for anything. Closing stretch of the front 9, here I come! Back to even par (I hope).
HOLES 7-9
Usually by this time, I'm in my head a little too much. I'm cursing about a shanked shot or getting a little too quick with my hands on a few too many chips. So I need to clear my mind a bit, and I can't think of anything better than the next four songs:
23. Some Might Say (Oasis)
25. I'll Be Your Man (The Black Keys)
26. Hammer To Fall (Queen)
27. Ring Of Fire (Johnny Cash)
28. Feel It Still (Portugal. The Man)
29. Welcome to the Black Parade (My Chemical Romance)
Wow -- two recovery shots later to save a par, followed up by a round-the-cup-twice birdie have me back in the black. The Gallagher's get some of the credit for getting the juices flowing again, but using Metallica and Queen to bookend that run has me pumped! And yes, one of those groups will be back again soon.
MAKING THE TURN -- HOLES 10-12
I feel that I need to calm things down a little, since I'm already fitting myself for a Green Jacket despite the fact that I barely saved bogey on the 9th. Okay, time to re-set and get rolling:
30. You Can't Hurry Love (Phil Collins)
31. Faith (George Michael)
32. Levon (Elton John)
33. And If Venice Is Sinking (Spirit of the West)
34. I Need Never Get Old (Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats)
35. I Will Give You Everything (The Skydiggers)
36. I'm Not The Only One (Sam Smith)
Okay... okay, I admit I should've seen this coming. Happy hands lead to another wonky tee shot, which led to a blind approach, which led me to wondering what planet I'm from thinking I could make a near-side chip shot stay within 10 feet. Trying to keep my hopes buoyed that the snowman I just put on the card is an aberration, I revert back to my pre-round thoughts and strategies ... but by the time I'm done begging and pleading my way around the murderous par-4 12th hole, I can hear Chris Martin in my ear whispering and how he'll right all the wrongs that suddenly appeared in my swing. Sitting at +7 as I walk onto the 13th tee, I know these next songs will right the ship!
HOLES 13-15
This is it, I can feel it! Those last few holes only happened on the scorecard, and I can already see myself going birdie-birdie-eagle to come back strong before making the final turn home:
38. Hanging By A Moment (Lifehouse)
39. The Gambler (Kenny Rogers)
40. Meant To Be (BeBe Rexha & Florida Georgia Line)
41. I Melt With You (Modern English)
42. Last Day Under The Sun (Volbeat)
43. D'You Know What I Mean? (Oasis)
In this short set, I start to go for it all now. A lip-out here and a flubbed chip there, and I can start to see things begin to slip away. It becomes clear now that Augusta won't be calling ... but wait! I chip in on the 15th to salvage par, and I take full advantage of the longer walk to the next tee to let the Gallagher's remind me as only they can that it's not over!
THE HOME STRETCH -- HOLES 16-18
I need to close strong, right? Well, that nagging voice in my head (or my playing partners, perhaps) is telling me to just think of the cold refreshments that are waiting for us afterwards. To escort us home, here's the line-up:
44. Who Am I? (Snoop Dogg)
45. Pride (In The Name Of Love) (Lxandra)
46. Proud Mary (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
47. Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough (Michael Jackson)
48. S.O.B. (Nathaniel Rateliff & The Night Sweats)
49. Only The Good Die Young (Billy Joel)
50. The Sound of Silence (Disturbed)
51. Bridge Over Troubled Water (Simon & Garfunkel)
52. You're So Vain (Carly Simon)
53. Cry To Me (Solomon Burke)
54. End of the Line (The Traveling Wilburys)
With the last cruel spin of my final putt on 18, I chuckle to myself as I lean down to pick up my #vicegolf ball and do some putter-taps all around to acknowledge my friends. I should've listened to Snoop as he questioned me over and over while we both watched not one but two shots head for the deepest part of the water hazard on 16. A birdie on 17 helped to make the 10 feel only a little better, but as Roy Orbison and the boys serenaded us up the final fairway, I knew there was only one song left to play:
I hope you're happy, Czervik!
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